Emily and I were talking about the art of imbibing and how you (meaning me) just might need to prep yourself prior to a big night. On very special occasions, my dad would stir a few raw eggs into a glass of buttermilk in order to coat the stomach. I believe this not only acts as a barrier for some seriously caustic cocktails, but also thwarts gastronomic guerilla warfare from too much rich food.
From this conversation we moved into discussions about the liver (meaning mine) and Emily painted a very entertaining picture of a Pop Eye-esque character with big guns, a pipe, and the determination of a defensive line backer. Earlier that same day I received an email entitled “What Your Overworked Liver is Dying to Tell You! Undo Years of Damage from Burgers….Booze…and Rx Drugs!” Yes, I looked over my shoulder AND under my desk. Here’s where things get even creepier; the article came with the cartoons below.
As interested as I might be in having my offal look much more like the fellow on the right and less awful (sorry) than the loser on the left, I didn’t really feel that a year’s supply of “Liver & Kidney Cleanse” was in my future …..and is that a cigar on the floor?????
Targeted emails freak me out!! It amuses me to imagine what people of other professions and walks of life get surprised with. Plumbers, for example, may open their Yahoo and see an ad for a new toilet cleaner; “Take the plunge and keep it clean.” Perhaps Cheese Mongers receive something like, “Break that barrier with Fiber Friends!” Who knows….
Well, anyway you slice it, my liver and I are on very good terms. A large container of Cranberry Juice takes center spot in my frig; I don’t ingest large amounts of caffeine or fast foods; my sleep number is 25 and I drink lots of water! So, how could I pass up the “Liver & Kidney Cleanse” with the extra special first time offer of gall bladder gun powder? Easy. I just drank a large glass of egg and buttermilk puree – see you at the bar:-)
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